Easy Breazy Talula

Ugh I feel like shit.  I feel like there’s a change in my body chemistry that has me PMS’ing for like two fucking weeks.  It’s torture.  My eating is not good.  I’ve had a lot of sugar and even fried food which hasn’t been in my diet for a very long time.  My body is much less forgiving with junk.  I know that it takes just one day to get back on track and that’s what I need to do.  I’ve also abandoned tracking and that’s not good for me either.  It’s never good for me to accept not paying attention. I have to pay attention and since I like to lie to myself about how good I eat, I need to see it on paper.  I also love tracking my exercise.  My papa bought me a Garmin and it’s so gratifying to see all my runs and to see my heart rate and how well I did with each mile.  

For Today

What works:

Taking it slow. Today I will be outside and wear my sneakers so I can run around with Adjei.

I will drink lots of water and avoid diet coke.

I will pack fruit to snack on.

I will be gentle with myself and encourage my progress throughout the day.

I will not put a high expectation on a big push for exercise.

I will be mindful that evenings are a trigger time for me to eat poorly.

I will live with gratitude that I’ve come so far and I have an extremely blessed life.

Gratitude list:

I’m grateful to the man in the grocery line who told me I don’t have “nothin” when I told him I shouldn’t buy the ice cream as I’m pointing to my belly.

I’m grateful to my husband for picking me up to show me how light I’ve gotten.

I’m grateful for my little boo bear for telling me he loves me more than cars.

I’m grateful for the hot sun.

I’m grateful for my amazing neighborhood and for my friends and neighbors.

I’m grateful for friends and mentors who I can talk things out with.

I’m grateful for getting texts from my brothers whom I miss.

I’m grateful to God for providing all my needs.

Love my Talula Bear

I’ve been in a pretty great place lately. I’m taking care of my body in a really nice way and that always makes me feel more confident. I agree with Jenna about the scale, it is a bit toxic because it doesn’t say shit about who you are, nor does it always reflect the work you’re doing on yourself. It’s a daily struggle but when I’m eating healthy, exercising, and living with what is, life is pretty great. I have to be kind to myself not only with food and exercise but also with kind words and patience. I have to be my own cheerleader, counselor, and parent sometimes. Well the truth is God is all of those things for me but my thoughts are my thoughts and it’s up to me to recognize them and respond in a really sweet way. So that’s how I’ve been living my life. I’ve been so blessed to have time to work on myself and enjoy being a mom and it feels amazing.

I had a dream last night that I was cast as the lead in Les Miserables. I was like Uma Therman in Smash. If you haven’t watched that show, Uma plays a movie star who can’t sing but is brought on to bring her star power to the show. She’s a terrible singer and she keeps adding her input to the script. It’s hilarious. In my dream, I couldn’t sing at all but I felt totally entitled to be there. It was actually really fun.

I absolutely love Carmen’s celebrations section and I am so grateful to Carmen for continuing to blog. So I think if nothing else, I need to list my celebrations everyday. Today I will list my celebrations for yesterday since it is still early.

Celebrations:
Called some friends when I felt sad, I hardly do this
Took Adjei to his running club even though I was tired
Made a healthy dinner that was a bit time consuming
Loaded my dish washer before I went to sleep
Smiled a lot

Goals:
Finish up laundry
Return books to the library
Vacuum
Do some writing
Be really nice to myself with my thoughts
Track what I eat
Go to a Yoga class
Try to learn the new blogger changes

Simplifying with Grace

Hi guys! So from my Facebook posts yesterday I’m sure you know how fantastic of a day I had. My cousin Kate was so generous to take me with her to see Richard III staring Kevin Spacey. We were literally within spit distance from this man. It was truly remarkable. He is the most incredible actor I’ve ever seen on stage. It was mind blowing. During his bow, he was heavy breathing and looked like he was ready to collapse. He puts that much into this performance. A true gift. I was so grateful, that I started to feel guilty. Damn guilt. After the show my cousin’s boyfriend, who works as the senior technician for BAM, took us backstage. My heart is still in my throat. It was so cool.

Today I was feeling really angry because my hubby told me that I needed to make some sacrifices with my spending. I knew he meant my WW subscription and I got so furious. I decided to go to my room and meditate before I started to blame him for all my woes, which I tend to do when I don’t get my way. After some prayer and meditation it occurred to me that if I can’t afford something, then I shouldn’t have it. Then another message came to me that was really powerful. One of the best gifts I can give to Adjei is to be happy with whatever I have in the moment. I need to show him that we can live a happy life no matter how much we have. I also thought that no one person or program is responsible for my choices or needs.

We also downgraded our cable to the basic channels and this whole weekend the t.v. has been off. I’ve done more reading, listened to more music, and did more playtime with my son. We adapt to what is and I believe that when we have more than we need, we get into a vicious cycle of wanting more. I know our finances will grow in time and I pray that I stay this mindful because so far, not having extra money has been a blessing. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a grace from God that I can see it this way, a grace I don’t take lightly.

Simplifying with Grace

Hi guys! So from my Facebook posts yesterday I’m sure you know how fantastic of a day I had. My cousin Kate was so generous to take me with her to see Richard III staring Kevin Spacey. We were literally within spit distance from this man. It was truly remarkable. He is the most incredible actor I’ve ever seen on stage. It was mind blowing. During his bow, he was heavy breathing and looked like he was ready to collapse. He puts that much into this performance. A true gift. I was so grateful, that I started to feel guilty. Damn guilt. After the show my cousin’s boyfriend, who works as the senior technician for BAM, took us backstage. My heart is still in my throat. It was so cool.

Today I was feeling really angry because my hubby told me that I needed to make some sacrifices with my spending. I knew he meant my WW subscription and I got so furious. I decided to go to my room and meditate before I started to blame him for all my woes, which I tend to do when I don’t get my way. After some prayer and meditation it occurred to me that if I can’t afford something, then I shouldn’t have it. Then another message came to me that was really powerful. One of the best gifts I can give to Adjei is to be happy with whatever I have in the moment. I need to show him that we can live a happy life no matter how much we have. I also thought that no one person or program is responsible for my choices or needs.

We also downgraded our cable to the basic channels and this whole weekend the t.v. has been off. I’ve done more reading, listened to more music, and did more playtime with my son. We adapt to what is and I believe that when we have more than we need, we get into a vicious cycle of wanting more. I know our finances will grow in time and I pray that I stay this mindful because so far, not having extra money has been a blessing. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a grace from God that I can see it this way, a grace I don’t take lightly.

Killer Caterpillars

What a gift of a day today is. Ellison is off so I was able to go running at 8:00 this morning and it was amazing. I did four miles at a 10:30 pace and I didn’t struggle at all. I could’ve pushed myself harder but I was enjoying my conversation with my partner so much. I’m grateful for my running partner Jade. She and I have become good friends through meeting twice a week for our early morning runs. She’s going to run her first race this year and I’m so excited. Her hubby is also going to start running. Life is so amazing. I had some quiet prayer and mediation time this morning and it just felt so great. Today I’m going to get the Frida’s waxed and I can’t wait. I feel like a monster. I call them the killer caterpillars. Adjei loves it because he’ll try to touch my eyebrows and I pretend that they bite him. They’re pretty crazy. However, I’m grateful that I have plenty to shape.

My eating is a work in progress. I wish it was easy for me because I could be so fit if I just stopped snacking. I’m the worst snacker on the planet. It’s hard to be a stay at home mom because during your down time, the exhaustion sets in, and the boredom, so you just want to eat. My danger times are 3-5. It’s now a habit that I need to quit slowly. My other danger time is 8-10. My body conditioning classes use to help with the night eating because who wants to eat after you’ve just busted your ass. I can do this!! I can, I will, I am. Today I will track what I eat and I’m also going to a kickboxing class tonight. I’m going because I was told the music is really good, it’s an ass busting workout, and my friend is giving me a free pass. I’m still surprised that a workout sounds like fun to me. Badass!

Gentle Theresa, Gentle

I’m feeling good today. I went on a run and did a couple of miles. I’m so proud that I’m actually running at all because my window for exercise is so small. I have to be back by 7:15 a.m. and sometimes I’m so tired but I get up at 6:00 to be ready to run by 6:40. I’m still surprised at myself that exercise has become a non-negotiable thing in my life. I know how easy it is for me to slip back into not exercising at all and telling myself over and over again tomorrow, until I’ve become frozen with fear and shame of quitting. I’m on day nine of my no sweet fast. It feels great to know how many days its been since I’ve had something sweet.

How amazing is music? Music is probably one of God’s greatest gifts, for real! Not much else to say except that I intend on being gentle with myself and celebrate life as much as possible. It’s a school day for me and Adjei and I will do my best to eat less points than yesterday. I will also try to do that 10 minutes of body conditioning.

10 Minute Rule

So I’m feeling much better today and extremely proud of myself for running this morning without a partner. My running partner couldn't go and my first instinct was to not go and go to my list of things to do so I can justify not running. I was so close to skipping but I pushed through and went. It felt really great to come home nice and sweaty and out of breath.

I’ve started this 10 day, 10 minute rule for myself. I decided eight days ago that I needed to lay off sweets. I’ve been really out of control for months. I was having something sweet every single day. I feel like all my exercising is just compensating for the sugar and overeating I’m doing. I decided that I would not eat any excess sugar for 10 days. I allow myself two measured teaspoons of sugar for my coffee. This has helped me cut down on my coffee because after three cups of coffee, I’m out of sugar. I’m on day nine and I’m really proud of myself. My rule is, if I really need something sweet after 10 days I’ll have it. Then I will go another 10 days without. If I don’t want anything sweet after the 10 days, I will go another 5 days without.

My 10 minute rule is, if I don’t want to exercise even if I planned to, I will only go out for 10 minutes. If I can do more, then of course I will but if I can’t, I don’t have to. This may sound complicated but it’s helping me get through some challenges lately. This morning I really didn’t want to run but I said, “Theresa you can run for 10 minutes.” I ended up running for 25.

Today I will track what I eat, clean my house and enjoy the day. I will also do 10 minutes of a video for body conditioning.